Sleep deceleration syndrome.....

I had the weirdest dream last night......how many times have we all said that before? I've always wondered if people dream like me. My dreams are like movies, a beginning, a middle and even an end. Each and every detail is clear and concise, and I sometimes really hate when they're over. Now don't get me wrong, many times I want my ticket money back......kind of my very own "Glitter".
I once had a dream that I was on the top floor of a hospital with my children and the city was flooding. As the water reached the top floor, the doctor gave us all needles to put our children to "sleep", so they would not suffer. In my dream, I can remember as clear as day, looking at the syringes and then looking around the room at all the people (each with their own face and their own children), and desperately hoping one of them would give me the answer. All the while, the water is raising and so is the terror in the room and in my children's eyes. Suddenly, a peace comes over me, and I know that letting my children "sleep" was the right thing to do.

As the water reaches my shoulders, I gently watch as my boys fall asleep. The water is face level and I close my eyes waiting for the inevitable. Then, just like that, the water begins to recede...... Obviously, this was one of my "scary movie nightmares".

I have what I call "moments of light movies" and it's these movies that remind me of my inner strength. I have been nominated for a nobel peace prize for my "Pay it Forward" program I started online, I have turned Brad Pitt away, convincing him to go back to Angelina, and I've even given birth.

Each and every dream is so full of details, colors, and emotions.....does everyone dream as I do? Winning that Oscar was the time of my life......I don't think I'd wear that same dress again though. The tabloids had a field day with me, and I made the worst dressed list!!!!! I really think making that list was a little harsh when Madonna wore that red and white striped getup with the purple velevet hat!

I've never fallen in a dream and actually hit the ground, we all know what happens if you actually hit the ground...... you die. So does that mean when we hear about all those people who pass, quietly in their sleep.....really hit the ground! That would mean that thousands of people die each year from refusing to wake up when they're falling. I did some research and found that this is an actual occurance that is scientifically termed Sleep Deceleration Syndrome, or SDS. Who knew????

Thank goodness I've avoided the SDS diagnosis, with SDS running around killing people in their sleep, this measly little MS diagnosis aint "nuthin but a thang". (Thats jive for no big deal)

I look forward to my nightly movie, and there are many times I want to fall right back to sleep to finish the movie I was playing in my dreams. Who wouldn't want to know how my date night with Jeremy Pivens ends?

I have learned to embrace these movies, knowing that there are little answers buried in them, and I know that these dreams enable me to put my true thoughts of fear, happiness, and confusion into a story that I can understand and enjoy. They are a gift I give myself to let go of old emotional injuries, and to welcome with open arms, my feelings of strength, courage and empowerment.

P.S. I made up SDS

Cut to me: What happened to Jack Handey from SNL? I think comedy that is so stupid and so out of this world wierd is what more people need in this world! In fact, I want to say whatever I want, whenever I want, to whomever I want, and Mr. Handey is my hero! OOOOHHHH, now I'm gettin fired up....... Wanna know something else???? I laugh everytime I see someone fall down! Even if theyre hurt, I still laugh!!!!! Guess what else? When I see a child in a grocery store and their parent isn't looking, I give them a realllllll mean look to intentionally scare them!!! TAKE THAT!!!
I also say "what" to people, even though I clearly heard what they said. I will sometimes make people repeat themselves two or three times, ALL THE WHILE LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY INTERNALLY!
When I'm out and about with friends, and we meet a stranger, I instantly introduce myself as Sandy Bishop and give my unkowing friends the name of my choice. I once told someone that me and my friend were on the University of Texas female hockey team! Of course, I was always the star goalie.

When in a hotel, try walking with your friends down the hall towards the elevator, and start running and knocking on every door on the way. Now thats one of my favorite! No matter who it its, they start running too! Nobody wants to be left holding the bag, so they run! Oh God, that's a good one.....

So in my quest for more humor in the world, here are a few things that make me laugh.............do they make you laugh?


Somebody told me how frightening it was how much topsoil we are losing
each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.
Jack Handey

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I
bet that's what *really* throws you into a panic.
Jack Handey

I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd
just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking
about doing that anyway.
Jack Handey

When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police.
But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who
this person was, and why he
had deer horns.
Jack Handey