"Oh My God Becky Look At Her Butt"

Here's a little jingle I just wrote, hope you all love it as much as I do....


Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt.


It is so flat. *scoff* She looks like,


one of those white guys' girlfriends.


But, you know, who understands those white guys? *scoff


I mean, her butt, is just so flat.


I can't believe it's just so paper flat, it's like,


not there, I mean - gross. Look!


She's just so ... white!






[Jamie Mix-a-Lot]


I like Flat butts and I can not lie


You other brothers can't deny


That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist


And a flat thing in your face


You get sprung, wanna pull out your specs


'Cause you notice that butt was just like a deck


Deep in the jeans she's wearing


I'm hooked and I can't stop staring


Oh baby, I wanna get with you


And take your picture


My homeboys tried to warn me


But that butt you got makes me so .....horny?????


Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin


You say you wanna get in my Prius?


Well, use me, use me


'Cause you ain't that average groupie


I've seen them dancin'


To hell with romancin'


She's sticklike and scrawny


Got it goin' like a sheet of Brawny


I'm tired of magazines


Sayin' big butts are the thing


Take the average white man and ask him that


She gotta have as ass like a mat


So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)


Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)


Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)


Shake that weakly butt!


Baby aint got back!


Now I'm not one to brag, but I've spend my entire life using my "assets"! I mean if you got it, flaunt it.....right? I'm not ashamed to say that I often wear very high heels to show off my calves. They are absolutely stunning and men have often made flattering comments that make me blush. Ok I'm braggin a bit, but how could I not have a big ego when I get comments like

     "You have two strings hanging from your shorts, I've got scissors"

Even as a young girl, my legs were noticed..... I was the only one on the team that got a nickname......and I still love to be called "chicken legs" to this day!

Modesty is not one of my best traits, so Yeah, I got a flat ass without even having to work at it. Don't be a hater, some are just more blessed than others.

Ohhhhhhhh the balance of life..... we get one gift and sacrifice another......so if it makes any of you feel better, I'm not perfect. Really, I have one really bad body issue, and sometimes I wonder if it's only me on this earth that suffers with this ailment!

Cut To Me:  Ok, lean in, I'm looking both ways out of concern that someone may overhear...This is just between you and me, and this secret must go to your grave. (I'm making you quietly promise and whisper while doing a pinky swear)
Ok, ready??????? My boobs are real........UUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!